Mourning the Memories

By Celena Howard
For The Sassy C~E~O

Over the last several months, I can honestly say that I have experienced just about every emotion known to man. From feelings of empowerment, courage, and triumph to feelings of failure, apprehension, and regret; I have had them all. However, through prayer and a good therapist, J I realize that these emotions are typical when going through transition. Therefore, I am learning to accept and use them as tools to fortify my character and strengthen my testimony. I used to be ashamed of not having total control over my emotions, and viewed my spontaneous crying bouts as a sign of weakness or an impending breakdown. (lol)

I remember one day in particular, I was enjoying an evening with my children as we talked, laughed and joked for hours. Feeling energetic and motivated, I decided to resume the cleaning and packing that I had started the previous day. I washed and wrapped my fine china, gently placing each piece in a box marked “fragile”. Then I opened up my large storage closet filled with dusty cobwebs and faded memories. I rummaged my way through, like a pirate searching through a treasure chest. I was caught off guard, as each object evoked a distinct emotion; some good, some bad, but all very powerful. As I sat in the middle of the floor, polishing away the dust and wiping away the tears, I realized that I was just as “fragile” as my china. I began to pray. After my conversation with God and a good cry (not the cute kind), I knew that everything was going to be ok.

If you are wondering to yourself, what tumultuous circumstance or chaotic set of events led me to my temporary meltdown, just remember this. It doesn’t matter if it is the death of a loved one, the ending of a marriage, or the loss of a job, transition can be difficult. So instead of beating yourself up for having moments of vulnerability, you should applaud yourself for moving through those moments, because mourning the memories is a normal part of your healing process. As long as you do not allow yourself to get stuck in a place of mourning, you should witness a healthy progression. I have heard many people say, “That which doesn’t kill you, will only make you stronger,” and as I sit here stronger today then I was yesterday, I would have to agree.